Help!

"carlifornia" (carlifornia) 09/22/2014 at 21:58 • Filed to: ad, old cars

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Hey everyone, I was hoping to get a feedback on an Ad I did for my business. This is not meant to be a plug. Just need feedback really!

Thank you Guys!

Zerofret > carlifornia 09/22/2014 at 22:03

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The cardboard car is great! however the "How do you Drive" font could be changed to something better, and does the lower text have to be confined to one line?? Love the concept though!

Steve in Manhattan > carlifornia 09/22/2014 at 22:05

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Change 3 year old to 6, drop comma after 'car for you,' and strike "or did you?"

GhostZ > carlifornia 09/22/2014 at 22:07

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Bad voice in the words, and don't need to mention your company name in the tagline. Maybe use this text instead:

"What do you drive?"

"When you were 3 years old, were you dreaming of driving in a box?"

Image

"We'll find the classic car for you that your 3 year old self would be happy with."

It would be even cooler if you could show, below the tagline, a VW Thing:

Which, Ironically, looks just like a cardboard box car.

This makes it much more clear of the double entendre.

phenotyp > carlifornia 09/22/2014 at 22:18

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The type on the tagline is weak. You want to communicate fancy, I guess, from the type. But it's way too small, proportionally. I think it'd be more effective if the tag font were a working class bold, which could use the setup for the body text to be fancier in explanation.

If that's what you're goin for. I'm not really sure.

PS9 > carlifornia 09/22/2014 at 22:22

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I'm lovin' it

It just works

make.believe

The next big thing is already here

Notice anything with all these? Taglines have to have as few words as possible to work well. Brilliance almost doesn't count here, and neither does syntax, language rules, or even actual content. The purpose of a tagline is vaguely analogous to that of a pointer in C++; It's an arrow, a shorthand for referencing the brand and referring the customer back to products associated with the brand.

Do you know what 'make.believe' means? I don't either, but I don't have to ask you who exactly we are talking about when we bring up this phrase now do I? Same deal for the others. Your tagline has too many words in it to work well. Try 3, with five being a maximum.

carlifornia > PS9 09/22/2014 at 23:35

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Thanks Guys! Your Feedback helped me a lot!